Why a Spoon, Cousin?
Name a better Sheriff of Nottingham, I’ll Wait…
Twas, Saturns-day eve’ when Suzie cast into Discord a plea for aide, that of a Blogge to fill the gaps betwixt that which has been and that which with steady swampen steps (and jumps) proceeds towards us, unhastened by greede or luste for shiney things…
Sorry, really shouldn’t read old books before writing, got a little carried away there. Anyway, when Suzie asked whether any of the team had anything we could add to the blog this week, I happened to be sawing spoons in half for the next bunch of Spords. It occurred to me that as these weird little wooden whimsy’s had become something intrinsically linked with our events, maybe I could say a little more about them.
The Wooden Spoon.
The Last Wooden Spoon awarded at Cambridge in 1909- look at that beauty!
I think it’s best to start with why on Tauber we are handing out carved cutlery in the first place (or is it last place?). Wooden Spoons are a British tradition that started at Cambridge University in the 18th century, when the Maths student with the lowest marks who had still attained a degree was presented with what was originally a wooden spoon from the cafeteria. This wasn’t considered a mark of shame as much as an indicator of determination - there’s even a poem about their value:
“When sage Mathesis calls her sons to fame.
The Senior- Wrangler bears the highest name.
In academic honour richly deckt.
He challenges from all deserved respect.
But, if to visit friends he leaves his gown.
And flies in haste to cut a dash in Town ;
The Wrangler’s title, little understood.
Suggests a man in disputation good ;
And those of common talents cannot raise
Their humble thoughts, a wrangler’s mind to praise.
Such honours too on Englishmen soon fade.
Like laurel wreathes, the victor’s brows that shade.
No such misfortune has that man to fear.
Whom fate ordains the last in fame’s career;
His honours fresh remain, and e’en descend
To soothe his family, or chosen friend.
And while he lives, he wields the boasted prize.
Whose value all can feel, the weak, the wise ;
Displays in triumph his distinguish’ d boon.
The solid honours of the Wooden Spoon”
Over the years the spoons became more notorious, getting larger and more ornate, often reaching four or five feet in length, which made the bit where they dangled it over the other student’s heads during the graduation ceremony much more exciting, if less safe. Until eventually the grading system changed and it became impossible to find the lowest student, boo!
In the meantime this cooking implement-based tradition had spread beyond the hallowed halls of upper-class education into the sporting world. Six-Nations rugby has had a wooden spoon pretty much since inception, with Wales having the honour of winning the first spoon (and at this point the most recent also, so yay for consistency there!). Australia, New Zealand and Canada all have sports events with Wooden spoons, probably because some rich Cambridge-type made them, and in 2015 a spoon was made for US Major League Soccer’s last place finisher.
It’s no Spord but it has a certain charm..
Birth of the Spord
The event I was attending on the day Tom asked me to work for Goblin King Games was entirely fun and a lovely day out. BUT (and I’m sorry to drop them in it here) the organiser had failed to procure a wooden spoon for last place, instead he had a photocopy of a spoon which was a pretty funny replacement.
Tom and I mused about prize kits after this, and how his current method of ‘print some certificates and throw in whatever he can find around the studio’ was unsustainable and rather more time-consuming than he’d like (subduing Mike and getting a box from his hoard could take half a day on it’s own). We thought that if we did have a formal prize kit perhaps we could have some sort of last place prize included to help the tournament organisers out.
Once fired up my imagination will gnaw at a problem like Doug with Friar Flavious ample ankles, and it was whilst with my ever-patient wife in a cookshop weeks later that inspiration struck! I quickly bought two spoons (a spare in case I ‘Did a Mick’ on the first one) and hurried home to find some tools. Thus, less than an hour later did this (rather nervously created) image appear on the staff Discord:
The Original Spords! Someone has these somewhere, not knowing what an important part of Tauberian history they are!
Consisting of little more than a wooden spoon, a garden screw and some twine (which varies in colour based on what I have currently) I could make these little doo-dads quickly enough that Tom agreed that from now on, the noble Spord shall grace all Gold level prize kits! (Did you spot the bit where I created a rod for my own back there?) We have (at my current count) sent out just under 200 Spords into the wild, which is, I think, a testament to how amazing and dedicated our event organisers are!
Spord Evolution
Most Wooden Spords are pretty similar in design, but for Joe’s 10th Mayhem and Mischief event we wanted something fancier, and so I created the Master Spord! One Spord to rule them all!
Inscription reads: “Gary cares not for he who hits hardest, instead he cares for those who when hit, cry ‘Harder daddy harder!”
Suzie was also kind enough to allow me to add the Spord to the games lore (my first lore piece!), so that players who had earned one could know that it was a mark of respect, not dishonour!
“For both ladies and gentleman of noble blood, taking part in
the fencing club at the Sunrise Academy is one of the
Commonwealth nobilities finest traditions. In a student’s
final semester the clubs members take part in ‘The Grand
Offence’, whereupon they take it in turns to insult each
other, cry foul and duel to first blood over the results. At the
end of the year the member with the least injuries from these
bouts receives a golden sabre. Conversely, the student with
the most bruised and battered countenance receives a
‘Spord’, a child’s toy sword made using a wooden spoon from
the school cafeteria. Rather than a symbol of shame it is
seen as a source of pride amongst nobles- proving that they
can overcome adversity- and the chosen student will often
wear it in his belt at all official gatherings they attend from then on.”
And it has even made it into the game itself as one of the new upgrades in the Campaign deck! And I am now introducing a new Campaign rule- any player who has earned a Spord in real life may add this to their starting troupe in any campaign they play in. That’s official now, don’t bother Joe or Tom about it though, best to just trust me…
(A bit of tactical advice in here- this is pretty much amazing on the Echo of the Forgotten King who tends to run low on wounds quickly anyway, and it can also make Sir Hogswash absolutely insane!)
Spording Forever!
Steeeeeeeeeeeve!
We at Goblin King Games appreciate all our players (not you Dhimesh*), and although this whole Spord thing started out as a silly piece of Mick whimsy, when we see photographs from events all over the world of people being knighted with their newly-earned Spords, or simply waving theirs around with a big grin on their face despite the last place finish, it reminds us of just how awesome (Not Dhimesh*) you all are.
If you’ve already won yourself a Spord there’s even a special role on our Discord server for the ‘Order of the Spord’ (you get a pretty name colour, that’s it, don’t moan!) with it’s current captain being Steve ‘Darth moor’ Bradford, (pictured above as it happens) who to me epitomises the spirit of a true Moonstone player with his endless enthusiasm and unyielding determination. Ask one of the mods to add you to it if you haven’t already!
Taking part in any of our events has been a massive joy for me before and after I started working for the King, and every event report I receive in the mail very much has the same spirit of joy, silliness and whimsy that we want to foster. If you haven’t been lucky enough to attend a Moonstone event yet check out this page to see what’s happening, and if there isn’t anything near you why not run your own event? It’s our birthday after all!
There are 30 more spoons just out of shot…
Now to saw more spoons in half! Onwards to wooden glory!
Mick :)
*Dhimesh, whilst being the butt of the joke here, is not only an incredibly talented Moonstone player but a genuinely good bloke and tremendous sport who we love really!! xxxx
